I’m going to restudy everything I’ve forgotten on guitar, and get “good” again by spring.

I’m going to use Rosetta Stone to learn how to write Chinese and learn a little bit of French.

It’s time to be cultured!

Seen stars this close in a long long time. And it reminds me of you.

back home, and I’ve already had a freakout fight with my mom. I really really hate coming home. There is a loss of freedom that I can’t express. Back in Davis, I talk to my mom every single day on the phone. And I enjoy it. I love my family with every ounce of my being. But I simply cannot live with them. I hope know that doesn’t make me a bad person, I’m just a changed person.

I’m still dreaming of moving far away. Seattle. New York. I’ll go wherever the wind takes me. I just hope there is at least a breeze.

Finally talked myself out of staying in Davis a fifth year for an arbitrary reason.

Took a day for myself today. Very minimal amount of texting/communication with humans. Ate very little amount of food, did a bit of working out. Showered twice, and I’m starting my load of laundry.

It’s time to get my head cleared up, because it’s time to enjoy life instead of hanging onto things from the past.

Now listening to: Beirut - The Flying Clup Cup

and too little all at the same time. I’m aware, I just don’t know when. I could actually know who. You are just as quizzical as I am, so I can put puzzle pieces together, but at a certain point, maybe my imagination is just running wild.

You are going to be hard to let go. The hardest actually, because you never wronged me. You’re like a cigarette, or second hand smoke. The smell stings my nose, but I’m ok with it. But I feel like I have to quit, because we’re going to two different places, and I’m just going to fall behind.

I believe in pursuing happiness even if it is hard to find. And now, I believe in knowing as little as possible, because I feel like information is only painful. Ignorance is bliss. Out of sight, out of mind. I saw you yesterday, but I felt comfortable with you for the first time in a while. Not how I usually feel when it meant more. Maybe it’s because the nicotine from your perfume wore off. Who knows?

I will be pumping you full of things that are not good for you in order to survive this finals week. This includes but is not limited to: shitty food, caffeine, energy drinks. I will exercise at a minimum. Showering is a privilege, not a right. I know you understand.

Yours truly,

Your loving master 

2 essays. 9 applications.

in the tenacity of people. In the educated knowledge of the youth. The sympathy and empathy of strangers. The responsibility of karma. The presence of luck. The value of hard work. The passion of Davis, and the heart of life.

The time of the year I can sit at home alone, and know that I am far from alone. I love all of you. Nostalgia is one of my favorite things in the world.